As mainstream society has trended toward embracing gay and lesbian relationships, some unfamiliar people can ask questions that may seem insensitive. Much like any heterosexual couple, there are topics that are private and personal. Both parents are important and equal, no matter the science associated with the creation. Like heterosexual parents, lesbian parents have children born of biological means, surrogacy, or adoption.

Here are the Parents.com 10 things you shouldn’t ask a lesbian mother:

Which one of you is the mother?

Who is the biological mother?

Where did you get the sperm?

Is the dad in the child’s life?

What do you know about the sperm donor?

Isn’t your child confused about what to call you?

Doesn’t your child miss out on doing “dad” things, like playing ball and using tools?

What did you write under “Father” on your child’s birth certificate?

Where is your child from?

Are you worried your child will get teased because you’re gay?